Mum's story finds meaning in loss | Bay of Plenty News | Local News in Bay of Plenty

Before Liz Tamblyn gave birth to a stillborn baby four years ago, her only knowledge of stillbirth was from an episode of ER.

Today, the Welcome Bay mother helps others who have gone through similar losses.

And now she has written and illustrated a children's book to help families get through the loss of a baby.

Baby Sam is written through the eyes of Mrs Tamblyn's son Jack, who was 4 when Sam was stillborn.

"I told her what to write and she wrote it down. I was really sad," said Jack, now 8.

The book tells the story of the family's excitement at expecting a new baby boy and the heartbreak when he was stillborn.

Mrs Tamblyn, who is married to Jeff, was six days overdue to give birth when a check-up discovered Sam had died.

She had felt him moving just the day before.

The book tells how the family celebrated Sam's life with a special dance at his funeral and by releasing red balloons.

Jack and his younger sister Sally received presents from Sam and had a birthday cake with a train on it to mark his birthday.

Mrs Tamblyn has self-published 300 copies of the book and has already sold some to primary school libraries, midwives, relationship services, grief counsellors and funeral directors.

She hopes the book will be a valuable tool for people working with children dealing with grief.

Mrs Tamblyn wrote the story soon after Sam's death four years ago.

"A lot of it is Jack's words. I read it to him seven or eight times and he corrected the bits I got wrong."

She believes it is the only book in the world on the topic that is written from a sibling's perspective.

"I wrote it because there was nothing out there for my kids to read."

The book contains ideas for remembering a lost baby - from keeping a box of memories, to releasing balloons and having a birthday cake every year on the baby's birthday.

Mrs Tamblyn, who is also mum to 3-year-old Harry, said writing the book was extremely healing and therapeutic.

"It's almost like his life has left a legacy of helping other people through their grief.

"It's like a new purpose in my life, which I would never have had. I'd rather have him if I had the choice but I have to find the good things."

Mrs Tamblyn is a committee member for Sands, a support group for stillbirth and newborn deaths. She also helps people through a support group at Bethlehem Baptist Church.

The book was officially launched at a private function in Tauranga last week.

To buy Baby Sam, email babysam@tamblyn.co.nz or visit www.skylight.org.nz.