Foster sons give dad special love | Bay of Plenty News | Local News in Bay of Plenty

Sometimes, the greatest gift of all can be the spoken word. For Graham Beswick, being called "dad" will be recognition enough, on Father's Day.

The 58-year-old is not only a father to four biological boys, but foster father to two others whom he and wife Tessa have raised since the boys were eight.

Today, their foster children are aged 16 and 19, and have only ever known one dad in their life - Mr Beswick.

"The first time they called me dad it gave me a feeling of privilege.

"Most parents recognise they are a father, but then to take responsibility of other kids and have them call you 'dad,' is something special. Something few have the opportunity to experience," Mr Beswick said.

Mr and Mrs Beswick first became foster parents when they became aware of an "urgent need" for a home for a boy named Tim, in their son's Year 2 class.

The Beswicks volunteered their services to Child, Youth and Family (CYF) and it developed into a long-term arrangement, with Tim "quickly becoming part of the family".

Two years later, Mr Beswick said CYF recognised the success of a large boys' family, and offered the Beswicks another boy, Colin,* for long-term placement.

While there have been challenges over the years, Mr Beswick said he and his wife had worked as a team, and their biological sons, now aged 18 to 26, accepted their new brothers without question. All six boys have been students of Bethlehem College.

As Tim and Colin have grown from boys to men, Mr Beswick is able to look back at some of the lighter moments of foster parenting, including "a bike trip into the local CYF office to request new foster parents, as we were so mean that we expected his room be tidied."

But household rumblings never lasted long.

"As all the boys' dad, I have enjoyed taking them away skiing, camping in Coromandel in summer, and a trip to Surfers Paradise," Mr Beswick said.

A "boys' only attendance" annually to the Parachute Music Festival, has been a highlight for the past 15 years, as have trips to the family's section in Bowentown, church, and sports games - "before they degenerated into less active teenagers," Mr Beswick joked.

The Te Puna man said seeing the boys learn to ski and swim, and develop into "pleasant, well-contented young men" is all the reward he needs on Father's Day.

Tim and his foster brother are the only two boys still living at home, and tomorrow they will assemble a new barbecue Mr Beswick has bought, and put their feet up after a day of skiing yesterday.

Tim said he might even mow the lawn for dad.

The shy 19-year-old said he had enjoyed growing up in a "busy household". He was born to a young mum, and was in and out of foster homes before the Beswicks found him.

Mr Beswick said he was thrilled to have made such a difference to the boys' lives. "To think how different their lives would have been if they hadn't been part of our family... recognition as 'dad' gives me a sense of pride; a buzz.

"We have contributed to two boys' lives and how many get that opportunity? It's been a worthwhile and satisfactory achievement."

Colin is not his real name.

FOSTER PARENTS

If you're interested in being a foster parent for Child, Youth and Family, or could offer a child a home for life, then please contact Tauranga social worker Poihaere Walker on 928 5194.

FATHER'S DAY

Tell him how he inspired you.

Recognise him as a good role model.

Thank him for the respect he has shown your mother.

Thank him for staying cool. Perhaps there was a time when you were a child that your father could have been upset but instead he kept his cool.

Appreciate how hard he worked. Dads get up every day and go to work, sometimes at jobs they don't enjoy, to support their families. Tell him "thank you" for working so hard.

Give him credit. Your dad may not have been perfect but perhaps he did the best he could.

Find common ground. If you and your dad have had a challenging relationship, perhaps this is the day to begin reconciliation. Dads mellow with age.

Send a healing message. Tell your dad that you want to have a good relationship with him. If you already have a good relationship, tell him how grateful you are for that.

Say: "I love you."

Honour men. Who are the men who have cared about your well-being or had an impact on your life? From grandfathers to uncles to stepdads, take a moment to acknowledge their contribution.

Laugh out loud. Tell jokes; remember a funny incident; be lighthearted. - source: www.ehow.com

10 ways to spoil dad on Father's Day

Make him a card

Let him have a lie-in

Serve him a cooked breakfast in bed

Do some of his chores, like washing the car

Go for a walk on the beach together

Hand over the TV remote for the day

Play his favourite music

Bake him a cake

Take him for a soak in the hotpools

Give him a big hug and a kiss and tell him you love him