Editorial: Fathers do make a difference

My little brother has just welcomed his baby boy into the world.

The little man doesn't know how lucky he is yet, to have a mother and father who love him and will devote their lives to making sure he has a happy life.

As James Fuller reported in the Bay of Plenty Times Weekend, American research has found children without dads are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol or have sex before they are ready for it.

It seems a strong statement to make, but on reflection I can see that a father choosing to be there for their child, provide for them and give up their freedoms to raise them is a confidence boost often taken for granted by those lucky enough to have dad around from day one.

While I'm not a parent, I've visited enough couples to know it's common for dads to feel a little helpless during those first few weeks of a child's life.

Their role often involves looking after their partner while she gets to grip with breast feeding and sleep deprivation.

But new dads should never underestimate how influential they can be in their child's life and future.

There will come a day when dad is the one a child turns to for straight-up advice, support or to enjoy a shared interest.

American psychiatrist Dr Curt Thompson says a child comes out of its mother's womb looking for someone, that is looking for them.

While mothers are biologically inclined to be the ones looking, fathers are less so. "There is a longing in all of us for someone to pursue us who has a choice in the matter. If a father initiates that, it is hugely important for a child," he says.

In today's world, the traditional mum and dad roles are much more interchangeable. It doesn't have to be mum who makes the school lunches, picks kids up when they fall over or ties their hair into a ponytail.

Dads taking the time to take in interest in their child's life benefits both father and child.

When I was a child, my father and I found shared interest in visiting museums, something my mum and siblings weren't interested in.

It made for a chance to spend valuable one-on-one time getting to know each other. Twenty years on, we share a love of good wine and conversation and he is still the sensible voice of reason when the going gets tough.